Here at Emergent Relationship Fitness, I am dedicated to helping active and driven individuals of all ability levels to raise their relationship up to a level that makes others wonder the secret. I help athletes using a highly specialized, step-by-step relationship coaching program that will not only impact your relationship, but also your well-being and ability to live confidently.

If you’re like most of the athletes I see for coaching, you’re already a successful, high-achiever. You are committed to staying to your training so you can complete races and test yourself. You strive to be the best you can and want to know what you are capable of. Sometimes not everyone is supportive. You want to be there for your family and friends.

Sometimes it’s easy to get off track. You are doing a lot of great things and you are committed to working to be your best self, but somehow your relationship isn’t growing with you or perhaps you have made personal changes and you feel like a stranger to your mate. You may have started to grow apart and now you are just not sure what to do. You need a change, but what…

Whatever your current relationship situation is, it’s hard to make changes on your own. You might try to show interest in your mate or try to tell them about the exciting training plan you found or your coach sent you, but you get nothing back. You might wonder what you are doing wrong or if you should even try.

Either way, learning new strategies and implementing new ideas are essential to creating the relationship and life you want. It’s essential for getting unstuck and moving forward instead of backwards. Otherwise, frustration can set in and may ultimately restrict your happiness.

• You’ve got into your relationship to love and to be loved.
• You want to repair what’s broken and what’s holding you back from being in a relationship that you have always envisioned.
• You are struggling with motivation to try. You find yourself more hurt and angry than ever and you’re not sure what’s up.
• You want to “up” your relationship to the next level.
• You value your relationship and want an easy to follow, step-by-step, guided path that can help you identify and make changes to the things that are holding you back from achieving your ideal relationship.

If you can relate, you’re not alone.

I went from finding my soulmate to constant fighting, competing, crying, and withdrawing. I knew I loved my wife and wanted to find a way to get along, but I wondered how we could be so far off base. I was counseling couples and helping others re-connect and end fighting, yet in my house I felt like one wrong word could end in a fight.

Needless to say, I knew something needed to change. I had already received specialized training to help other couples and I knew what it took to transform my body.

You’d think with my years of athletic training, and my job, I’d have it all figured out. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Turns out, swimming laps in freezing water and knowing how to meditate, and helping other couples with their problems didn’t make me an enlightened partner.

I thought of my marriage as a competition: I had to win every argument and fight. I refused to understand my wife because I thought that meant agreeing with her. And all my years of meditation and personal development certainly gave me the spiritual high ground on most issues, right?

But after a period of hellish fights, I knew I needed a new way to transform our relationship.

This turned out to be much harder than any marathon I’d ever trained for.

First, I had to understand that my wife wasn’t there to make me happy. I had to stop thinking of arguments as something to win, and start thinking of us as a team working together on problems.

The road ahead of us felt daunting. All I could see was the gap between where we were and where I wanted us to be. There were days I thought we would never get there. There were days I felt discouraged, I beat up on myself, I lost my cool. I wondered how I would ever be that perfect partner and have that 5-star relationship I wanted with the woman I loved.

And then it clicked.

I could start training our relationship like I trained for marathons. Just like trying to get to 26 miles, I had to take daily actions to improve communication and give my wife the freedom to have her differences.

I started implementing what I learned from my mentors — some of the pioneers of couples therapy. I enrolled in their intensive apprenticeship program where they pass their knowledge off to a few carefully chosen therapists.

You could have the best information, the best training plan, the best intentions in the world, and still take no action. It’s like standing in the doorway of a gym day after day and complaining that you are not getting results.

That’s why coaching is crucial in working toward the relationship of your dreams. They’re a relationship personal trainer. They’re there with you, working on your form, helping you set new goals, giving you feedback and motivation along the way.

If you want results, you have to get some training.

And if you want lasting results, you train with the best. And you train with someone who has been through what you’re going through, because those are the trainers who know how to lead you out of your suffering.

I love working with couples to help them realize their goals. I apply the process of reaching monumental physical to reaching relationship goals. And I have taken the experience of being an athlete and a couples therapist to create a relationship bootcamp so I can push my clients to be the best version of themselves.